WOW! Its been a while since I have blogged. Our life took a turn in March of 2015 when our son was diagnosed and later lost his battle with cancer. Life should not end abruptly at age 36. Especially the life of your son. I will post a few blogs on dealing with all of the nonsense of cancer and losing a child and grief later….but for today…I will say it’s good to be back!
My husband read a book by WILLIE JOLLEY called SETBACKS ARE A SETUP FOR COMEBACK. Excellent book and I highly recommend it! Setbacks teach us lessons…most times they are hard lessons. But needless to say, the hard lessons are the ones we grow from the most. We grew from our setback.
Since March of 2015 we have made it THROUGH:
*diagnosis of cancer of our son Tim
*moving cross country, away from my husband and Michigan family to California, to help Tim fight this ugly demon
*selling our homes in Michigan and our whole famiy making the permanent move to CA
*watching our grandson and daughters (and ourselves) learning to feed Tim through a feeding tube, use suction machine, and all other kinds of medical procedures that we never dreamt we would be able to do as he fought daily to survive
*watching my father-in-law suffer through a broken hip and hip replacement surgery at 93 years old, and a few months later dealing with my husband’s full hip replacement surgery
*planning two memorial services (California and Michigan)for our son who was way too young to die and fought way too hard to live
*raising our grandson—the biggest blessing that came out of this horrendous trial
*facing holidays, birthdays and every day without our son, father and brother
*battling depression, anxiety and panic attacks….and major crying meltdowns
*moving out of his house
*starting a new business after our other business just kind of fell apart due to company changes that just didn’t appeal to the West Coast culture
*and the big one……learning to trust God again
Sooooo…..I am sure I have left out many other trials that came from this one horrific trial…..but these were enough. You get the picture. One setback can set you up for many hard lessons. Lessons we would not have chosen to learn, but God felt it was necessary for us to according to HIS timing….not ours.
So what is your setback? What has caused you stop dead in your tracks and wonder why? How will I ever recover from this setback? Whatever it is know that GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES! Not once has He ever looked down and said…..”Oooops, wrong person!” and that is what kept me sane during the setback…and allowed me to start celebrating the comeback!
We must take a few steps to bring ourselves out of the setback….it won’t happen on its own. Trust me I waited for it and it did not happen!
#1 Get Out of YOUR Head! Regroup. Step outside of the picture and look in. How much is this setback going to matter in 1-5 years? In the case of a death it will always have a lasting effect on a family….but guess what…life still goes on….with or without you. And the one that passed….they would never want us to mope around in our depression. Take time to grieve and then yes….we HAVE to move on.
#2 We must ACCEPT what is done, is done! We can’t change history. Like a fork in the road we must choose to take the high road and we can’t look back because we cannot undo what is done. Be rational and think smart…not emotional. The setback is done. The comeback is waiting.
#3 Find the GOOD in the setback. This is a tough one. Hard to find the good in a death. It’s hard to find the good in losing everything, failed marriages, job loss….but there is good there. You gain a story, a testimony that when shared with others can help lift others out of their setback. Be grateful for everything else that could have gone wrong that didn’t!
#4 Set yourself up for a COMEBACK with specific intentions. Become unstoppable. Take care of yourself! If that setback didn’t kill you then you are ready for the biggest comeback ever.
*DON’T CLAIM YOUR SETBACK! It’s not yours to keep. Never claim an illness or loss as “my arthritis”, “my sciatic nerve” ….it is THE arthritis, THE sciatic nerve…..Talk to the setback as if it were Goliath and you are DAVID! It will not destroy you….it will not win the battle…..it will be defeated and you will be the winner….God is on your side…..THIS IS MY LIFE AND IT’S TIME FOR YOU ‘SETBACK’ TO MOVE ON OUT!
*DEFINE WHAT IT IS THAT YOUR COMEBACK WILL LOOK LIKE! Have a clear vision of what your comeback will be. What are you going to do to acquire the comeback. And WRITE IT ALL DOWN!!!!! Incorporate all five senses and remember to capture this picture in your head and play it over and over.
#5 SET GOALS! So many times we say we want something but our actions don’t reveal the desire to really obtain it. Our desire must become our passion in order for us to sacrifice enough to go after it. How bad do you want to change the setback to a comeback? Dream BIG! Your dream must be bigger than the setback that caused you to want out! Set daily goals to get you out of the setback…as you achieve them start setting long term goals.
Getting THROUGH your setback can happen….and it will happen. You must stay positive and remember to always look forward. We cannot change yesterday. God wants to bring us out better than we were before. Don’t fear the change. Don’t fear the lesson. Just grow through the setback and enjoy the biggest comeback you can ever imagine. If you haven’t experienced a setback…believe me there is one waiting for you out there. Don’t be afraid. WE WILL RISE AGAIN AND AGAIN!
Micah 7:8 Rejoice not against me, O my enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be alight unto me.
We will rise again.
Because of Him,
(5 steps taken from excerpts of http://www.GetBetterHQ.com)